I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
