I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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