So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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