Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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