not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
