So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
