i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You've changed since you got that strap on
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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