Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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