Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just cropdusted the office
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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