she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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