Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
