the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
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i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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