On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
