I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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