What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
