meet me or not, i'm out of control
operation have a gay friend backfired
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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