girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
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