zippers are such a cool invention
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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