i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
