Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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