try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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