I wish i was in the wii world.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize