Can Purell be used as lube?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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