i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
