Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it was like eating out sand paper
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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