U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
