none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
