so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
