just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
