hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
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