My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
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I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
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I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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