R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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