what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
