its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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