I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
