I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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