Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize