just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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