I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize