CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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