Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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