oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
