i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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