Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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