We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
