yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
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fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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