that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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