You're so nebulous sometimes
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
