So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
