Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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