yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
