i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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