He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
