I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize