You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
